Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
