ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
