There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
