i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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