just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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