it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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