which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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