She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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