Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
