btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
