Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
