well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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