the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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