Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
