I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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