Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry surelysamantha hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(503): View more from Oregon

So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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(760): View more from California

He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.

(619): View more from California

he what???

(760): View more from California

Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...

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(240): View more from Maryland

Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?

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