For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
