he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
