his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
