So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
