somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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