you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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