u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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