mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
