This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
