Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My dick has a subreddit
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
