Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
