I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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