i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
