these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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