dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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