Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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