so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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