i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Randomize