More tranny stories later!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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