I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I got inside last night via doggy door
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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