I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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