90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
