just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize