; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
