i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
