he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
