Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
