Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
