this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
