we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
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