I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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