is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
