Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize