She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
