We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
