I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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