what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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