why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
