so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
