I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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