You smell like stripper and shame
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
