i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
