Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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