Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
