I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
