Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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