Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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