I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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