Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
