I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
