my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
